I’m holding my hands up today and saying that this blog is no longer what it had the potential or the intention to be. I started it back in 2015 when I had time on my hands and opinions to express, and whilst I still have the opinions, the time seems to elude me. I regret how downhill my blog has gone in the last year. I wish I had a good enough excuse as to why I’ve only posted a handful of blogs since August 2016, but the reality is I got a job, I moved to London, and instead of having hours of free time on my hands, now I come home from work, occasionally have a social life, and try and fit in watching some rubbish on Netflix.
All in all this should make me a ‘bad’ blogger. But I’ve had some thoughts today on what it means to be ‘good’. Over the Christmas break, whilst I saw so many people on Twitter posting about books they had read or publicists continuing to tweet about their books, I barely read anything and I used my TweetDeck sparingly.
And I thought – does that make me a ‘bad’ reader or a ‘bad’ publicist, just as I am a ‘bad’ blogger? No.
This makes me human.
Over Christmas, I spent time with my family who I miss so much living in London and I got a new puppy (who is gorgeous and deservedly took up a lot of my time). I watched The Crown with them instead of reading. I turned my work emails off because I work hard when I’m working and deserve a break when I’m not. We publicists have a tendency to work overtime, all the time, and I thought that for just this once whilst I was on holiday, I would be on holiday. I mean, my addiction to work emails once got so bad that I was emailing authors on one of the biggest and most important days in my calendar, when I should’ve been with my family.
So for Christmas, I took time for me.
I know that maybe I am a ‘bad’ blogger – and tonight I genuinely considered scrapping my blog entirely because frankly I don’t have the same enthusiasm for it any more, or the time, because (shock horror) I have a life outside of books and publishing, which includes eating meals out with my friends (none of whom work in publishing), spending time with my family (when I can), and yes, binge watching on Netflix.
But I didn’t delete the blog. Instead I wrote this. Because this blog is mine and for me, and I can write on it however I want, whenever I want.
That doesn’t make me a ‘bad’ blogger, a ‘bad’ reader (sidenote: I saw on Twitter some people read 100+ books in 2017. My Goodreads goal was 20 books and I’m pretty sure I smashed that in summer, but I stopped quantifying because it actually doesn’t matter as long as you’re reading and you’re enjoying reading), and it certainly doesn’t make me a ‘bad’ publicist because I put work to one side for the time I was out of the office.
In 2018, I aim to throw these guilty feelings away and be okay with the work I do and the way I choose to live my life, whether that’s blogging once a month (which probably won’t even happen) or saying actually no, I’d rather go and have all-you-can-eat sushi and talk about boys with my friends.
New Year, same me, but accepting that same me is okay.